Posted by dokidok on October 27, 2008
One word is enough to ruin your day. One sentence is enough to screw up the whole year. How is that possible? They say, everything is in your head. Is it true? Yes, it is. You make yourself sad, unhappy, useless, stupid, fat, ugly, looser, the list is countless. Most of the time you make the choice how you feel, based on the words other people say to you. Why? Because humans are built in this way. The humans need constant approval from other humans. They also need to feel important by having better job, bigger house, new car, nice looking girlfriend, etc. So, what is the first step you can take in order to keep your internal comfort. The first thing you can do is to stop the flow of negative and useless words to your brain. You don’t need them. There are three ways:
1. Avoid the non-approvals, toxic and negative people in your life. If you cannot avoid them completely, depends on the situation you can make the toxic person feel unsecure or learn how to shut off your brain.
2. Plug your ears, which can be achieved by buying ear plugs, headphones, and many other devices to muffle the incoming words. I don’t recommend this way. It is easy, but cannot be used in all situations.
3. Learn how to ignore the words that generate negative thoughts in your brain. Even if you hear them, don’t let them proceed to your nerve synapses and to pass the impulse to another neuron. Execute the negative thought instantaneously. I call that technique “shut off your brain”. The brain is not plugged in. No wire, no problems. There are three simple steps how to shut off your brain.
- 3.1. When you here that negative words right away start thinking about something different: your vacation, the new song you like, your dog, last party, in other words anything that comes to your mind, that will distract your brain from the words just said. The new picture that your bring to your brain will replace eventually the thoughts generated by the negative words. It works, trust me.
- 3.2. If it is too late for that, prepare yourself with a good mantra. For example: “I am happy person and I like myself”, or “No matter what people say I know who I am”. You can use anything, even non sense mantras like: “The sky is blue, the grass is green, and I am a happy penguin”. By repeating the mantra you keep your brain in a constant positive state, and by doing that you protect yourself from any new information coming in.
- 3.3. If the situation is really out of control, leave as fast as you can. You don’t need to be exposed to negative words for long time, especially if you are not experience yet. You will have another situation to practice again. Toxic people are part of live. You gotta learn how to deal with them.
Posted in how to (ht), stay positive (sp) | Tagged: how to deal with toxic people, shut off your brain | Leave a Comment »
Posted by dokidok on October 12, 2008
1. Make it clear what you want to get done.
2. Collect the information you need.
- 2.1. Internet (Google, forums, blogs)
- 2.2. Networking: friends, co-workers, co-students
3. From all that information, select the most important points that work for you and make an excerpt.
4. Read it again.
5. Make a simple plan how to do the task.
6. Do it!
Posted in how to (ht) | Tagged: how to approach simple task | Leave a Comment »
Posted by dokidok on July 5, 2008
Humans nature is so masochistic sometimes. We tend to keep looking for approval and when we don’t get it, we feel unhappy. Interestingly we care of the opinion of people who don’t care about us. If they don’t care about us, why we have to care about their opinion, toxic behavior and disapproval. Here it is what you can do:
1. Avoid contact with them as much as you can. If you are not directly related to these people, completely stop the communication. If you are related somehow (e.g. relatives, co-students, co-workers) limit the communication to minimum. If there is no way and you need to talk to them, focus the conversation on the professional topic you want to discuss. Don’t tell them anything about your personal life and don’t ask them what’s happening in their life. You don’t care about them. Period.
2. Don’t let them trick you again. These people are pre-programed. They always do and say the same things. They also make you upset in the same way. They even don’t know they do that to you. Actually, to be more precise, you do it to yourself. You make the choice to talk to them, and you let yourself feeling stupid and miserable, because you didn’t get again someones approval. Who is this someone? Is that person important to you? If the answer is no, this person is NO-body. Don’t feel down only because NO-body says something to you or didn’t agree with you. Toss’em out! Just like this, the same way you toss out something you don’t need in your life.
3. If they become really aggressive and try to offend you the best strategy is to step back. It is not a looser strategy. Don’t worry. Say to them that you are busy and really need to do something and leave with dignity. Next time avoid them as much as you can and pretend that they are invisible to you.
Posted in how to (ht) | Tagged: approval, how to deal with toxic people, toxic people | 1 Comment »
Posted by dokidok on June 19, 2008
1. Be patient. The good things happen slowly. It takes lots of time and efforts. You must know since the beginning that it is going to take a lot of time, money, energy, and different type of sacrifices.
2. Be ready for some not that perfect moments. Don’t let the negative thoughts to mess up your mind. There will be countless days when you are going to feel down or upset or you just wont be able to picture your feature clearly. Relax! This is part of the game. What can you do? Many things: get drunk, go out clubbing, dance, make love after. On the next day you gonna have terrible headache, but you will feel somehow better. Believe me. It works. The brain needs break.
3. BE PERSISTENT. OK, this is the biggy one. No matter what happens, no matter how many times you feel like quiting, no matter how far it is…the only way to achieve your goal is to keep working hard on it. Follow your plan and one day all the hard work and sacrifices will be paid off. Trust me!
Posted in 1, how to (ht) | Tagged: achieve, goals, how to achieve goals, how to be persistent | Leave a Comment »
Posted by dokidok on June 9, 2008
Definition for looser: a person who doesn’t try and do whatever he/she wants. It could be due to religious, family, or self esteem issues.
It’s important to destinguish between a person who has never tried to do something and person who tried but didn’t succeed from the first attempt. The first person is a looser, the second just didn’t make it one time.
The 3 tips are:
1. Give it a try. Do it! It doesn’t hurt if you shoot and don’t hit the bullseye at the first try. Remember. There are still many bullets in your shotgun. And also you are still not experienced. Give your self some time to learn how to do something properly.
2. Challenge yourself everyday with small tasks, e.g. if you want to say Hi! to the girl besides you in the subway say it. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t cost anything. Another example: if you were afraid to talk to your boss, next time say to him/her Hi! How are you today?, and than smile. It’s that simple. There are so many things you can do: joint a dancing class, swimming class, gym, start your own blog, book a vacation, sell your old house and buy a new one and so on. Life is beautiful, but you gotta find your way.
3. Don’t be afraid to say and do what you like. Life is too short to compromise with our own time and feelings. Be yourself. The feeling is great.
Posted in 1, how to (ht) | Tagged: how not to be a looser | 1 Comment »
Posted by dokidok on June 9, 2008
1. You must have a dream (dream work, dream wife, dream house, dream hobby, dream vacation…anything you can dream about). Whatever your dream is, even if it’s bizarre, it’s your own dream and that’s why is so important.
If you are not following your dreams, there is a risk that you can be one of the unhappy people. Be careful!
2. You have to imagine your dream.
3. You have to find the right way, tools, and people to achieve that dream.
Posted in 1, how to (ht) | Tagged: important things for success | Leave a Comment »
Posted by dokidok on June 9, 2008
Many people go to school, work, get married, buy houses and cars, bring up kids, travel, make their will and finally die. Many of these people don’t like their job, got married not for the right person, don’t even like their big new house (5 bedrooms for 2 people…common…this is too much), don’t enjoy their vacation anymore because they forgot how to have fun in their life. That happens because of one big mistake people usually make in the very beginning of their personal and professional life (I believe that the professional unhappiness can screw up your personal life big time. The other way around exists too, but not very often).
These people didn’t spend enough time to find out what they really want to do with their lives. How often can you hear people saying that they don’t like their job, but it pays the bills. This is so sad. Why do you go to work and spend 8 hours of your life doing something you don’t like. Why? Why did you do that to yourself. And in the moments when you feel upset you tend to blame the system, the president, the neighbor, the aliens, anybody else but not yourself. What can you do if you are one of these unhappy people:
1. Stop! It is not too late to stop. You don’t want to look back when you are 65-70 years old and say to yourself, “what if”, do you? It is not too late to stop. Do it now!
2. Ask yourself the question: what do you really want to do in order to make yourself, your family, and friends happy. Make up your mind on time and try to find out what do you really like and enjoy doing. Don’t wait too much until you get stuck forever. The time is the most precious thing in the world. Don’t waste it, use it.
3. Open your eyes and look around yourself. Life is beautiful, but you are the only person on Earth that can make it beautiful for you and your family.
Posted in 1, stay positive (sp) | Tagged: unhappy people | 2 Comments »
Posted by dokidok on June 6, 2008
1. If you feel lack of motivation don’t look around for a remedy. Reading motivational blogs and hacks will not help you much. It will confuse you even more. Also, reading motivational and GTD blogs is a tremendous waste of time, helping some smart on-line gurus to make money selling dreams.
Find your own way to stay focused. The only cure so far is to keep working on your project until one day you overcome the apathy and boredom.
2. Limit the use of Internet for any other purposes different than your current goal. Set up a time of the day for checking your e-mails and social networks.
3. Work on your project thoroughly. At the end of the day you have to have the feeling of satisfaction.
Think positive and imagine yourself in a better position after you are done with your goal. That will give you additional freshness and motivation.
Posted in how to (ht) | Tagged: focus, motivation | Leave a Comment »
Posted by dokidok on May 27, 2008
1. Talk to at least one person you don’t know.
2. Smile to 5 people you don’t know.
3. Talk to somebody who is higher in the work hierarchy and you were avoiding to talk before.
If you use that simples 3 steps you will probably see that the law of attraction works.
Posted in stay positive (sp) | Tagged: boost your mood, self-esteem | Leave a Comment »
Posted by dokidok on April 4, 2008
Everybody knows how to make a TO-DO list. It is also easy to follow. It works for me, but I realized that I need a small addition to that list, a second list named NOT TO-DO.
I noticed that I have more problems with my NOT TO-DO list. But what is NOT TO-DO list? In that list I put everything I don’t need to do for the day, but I usually do and waste time, like browsing for hours, checking and editing my other blog, my e-mails, my facebook, and so forth. Few tips how to make and follow your NOT TO-DO list.
1. Make your TO-DO list first and estimate how many hours it is going to take.
2. Make your NOT TO-DO list and keep it on a piece of paper in front of you or on your desktop. Anytime when you feel tempted to do something from the NOT TO-DO list look at it. Read it once, twice, as many times as you want, than read again your TO-DO list and focus on your work.
3. Set up a time of the day when you can use the NOT-DO list. It must be after you finish your TO-DO list. I know, sometimes it is so difficult. For example, you just post a new article on your blog and you are so curious how many people read it and commented it, or you just uploaded new pictures on Facebook and you wanna see who of your friends saw it and make some funny comments. No, no, no… it doesn’t work this way. Take it easy dude! Your blog, e-mails, facebook, groups, communities, forums, etc., they all will be still there. Finish your most important job first and than enjoy the rest of your free time. Period.
Posted in how to (ht) | Tagged: not to-do list, to-do list | Leave a Comment »