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Posts Tagged ‘toxic people’


Posted by dokidok on July 5, 2008

Humans nature is so masochistic sometimes. We tend to keep looking for approval and when we don’t get it, we feel unhappy. Interestingly we care of the opinion of people who don’t care about us. If they don’t care about us, why we have to care about their opinion, toxic behavior and disapproval. Here it is what you can do:

1. Avoid contact with them as much as you can. If you are not directly related to these people, completely stop the communication. If you are related somehow (e.g. relatives, co-students, co-workers) limit the communication to minimum. If there is no way and you need to talk to them, focus the conversation on the professional topic you want to discuss. Don’t tell them anything about your personal life and don’t ask them what’s happening in their life. You don’t care about them. Period.

2. Don’t let them trick you again. These people are pre-programed. They always do and say the same things. They also make you upset in the same way. They even don’t know they do that to you. Actually, to be more precise, you do it to yourself. You make the choice to talk to them, and you let yourself feeling stupid and miserable, because you didn’t get again someones approval. Who is this someone? Is that person important to you? If the answer is no, this person is NO-body. Don’t feel down only because NO-body says something to you or didn’t agree with you. Toss’em out! Just like this, the same way you toss out something you don’t need in your life.

3. If they become really aggressive and try to offend you the best strategy is to step back. It is not a looser strategy. Don’t worry. Say to them that you are busy and really need to do something and leave with dignity. Next time avoid them as much as you can and pretend that they are invisible to you.


Posted in how to (ht) | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »


Posted by dokidok on March 5, 2008

Photo courtesy of  gonzales2010Anytime when somebody says bad words to you, use these simple steps:

1. Get close to him/her, closer than normal conversation. Look in the eyes. Stay calm. Don’t say anything. Go away. If that fails, continue with step 2.

2. Question this person. Why? Why did you say that? What do you mean by that? Do you feel better saying that to me? Keep questioning until he/she is totally confused. Don’t let them speak. Don’t give them chance to take over. Keep on asking questions. Who do you think you are (this is a little bit rude, but it depends on the situation, it might be acceptable too)? I don’t let anybody talk to me like that. If that fails continue with step 3.

3. Refer the matter to a higher authority. Don’t loose your confidence and the calm tone of speaking. Don’t raise your voice. Just say: OK, I did the right thing following the protocol and talking to you first. It seems like it doesn’t work and I have to proceed and refer the case to a higher authority. Goodbye!

Tip: It’s better if you talk only two of you. If there are other people around, they can interrupt the conversation. Be very quick. Don’t let the other person to pull him/herself together. Don’t forget that at the end the only thing that matters is you, your family and your close friends (I don’t have friends yet). So, who cares for that toxic person. Don’t let the bad words hurt you. Don’t take it personally. Let it go and keep doing your best this day.

Posted in how to (ht) | Tagged: , | 4 Comments »