AVOID NON-APPROVALS, YOU DON’T NEED THEM

Humans nature is so masochistic sometimes. We tend to keep looking for approval and when we don’t get it, we feel unhappy. Interestingly we care of the opinion of people who don’t care about us. If they don’t care about us, why we have to care about their opinion, toxic behavior and disapproval. Here it is what you can do:

1. Avoid contact with them as much as you can. If you are not directly related to these people, completely stop the communication. If you are related somehow (e.g. relatives, co-students, co-workers) limit the communication to minimum. If there is no way and you need to talk to them, focus the conversation on the professional topic you want to discuss. Don’t tell them anything about your personal life and don’t ask them what’s happening in their life. You don’t care about them. Period.

2. Don’t let them trick you again. These people are pre-programed. They always do and say the same things. They also make you upset in the same way. They even don’t know they do that to you. Actually, to be more precise, you do it to yourself. You make the choice to talk to them, and you let yourself feeling stupid and miserable, because you didn’t get again someones approval. Who is this someone? Is that person important to you? If the answer is no, this person is NO-body. Don’t feel down only because NO-body says something to you or didn’t agree with you. Toss’em out! Just like this, the same way you toss out something you don’t need in your life.

3. If they become really aggressive and try to offend you the best strategy is to step back. It is not a looser strategy. Don’t worry. Say to them that you are busy and really need to do something and leave with dignity. Next time avoid them as much as you can and pretend that they are invisible to you.

HOW TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT IT IS

1. Be patient. The good things happen slowly. It takes lots of time and efforts. You must know since the beginning that it is going to take a lot of time, money, energy, and different type of sacrifices.

2. Be ready for some not that perfect moments. Don’t let the negative thoughts to mess up your mind. There will be countless days when you are going to feel down or upset or you just wont be able to picture your feature clearly. Relax! This is part of the game. What can you do? Many things: get drunk, go out clubbing, dance, make love after. On the next day you gonna have terrible headache, but you will feel somehow better. Believe me. It works. The brain needs break.

3. BE PERSISTENT. OK, this is the biggy one. No matter what happens, no matter how many times you feel like quiting, no matter how far it is…the only way to achieve your goal is to keep working hard on it. Follow your plan and one day all the hard work and sacrifices will be paid off. Trust me!

3 TIPS HOW NOT TO BE A LOOSER ANYMORE

Definition for looser: a person who doesn’t try and do whatever he/she wants. It could be due to religious, family, or self esteem issues.

It’s important to destinguish between a person who has never tried to do something and person who tried but didn’t succeed from the first attempt. The first person is a looser, the second just didn’t make it one time.

The 3 tips are:

1. Give it a try. Do it! It doesn’t hurt if you shoot and don’t hit the bullseye at the first try. Remember. There are still many bullets in your shotgun. And also you are still not experienced. Give your self some time to learn how to do something properly.

2. Challenge yourself everyday with small tasks, e.g. if you want to say Hi! to the girl besides you in the subway say it. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t cost anything. Another example: if you were afraid to talk to your boss, next time say to him/her Hi! How are you today?, and than smile. It’s that simple. There are so many things you can do: joint a dancing class, swimming class, gym, start your own blog, book a vacation, sell your old house and buy a new one and so on. Life is beautiful, but you gotta find your way.

3. Don’t be afraid to say and do what you like. Life is too short to compromise with our own time and feelings. Be yourself. The feeling is great.

3 IMPORTANT THINGS FOR SUCCESS

1. You must have a dream (dream work, dream wife, dream house, dream hobby, dream vacation…anything you can dream about). Whatever your dream is, even if it’s bizarre, it’s your own dream and that’s why is so important.

If you are not following your dreams, there is a risk that you can be one of the unhappy people. Be careful!

2. You have to imagine your dream.

3. You have to find the right way, tools, and people to achieve that dream.

UNHAPPY PEOPLE AND WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU ARE ONE OF THEM

Many people go to school, work, get married, buy houses and cars, bring up kids, travel, make their will and finally die. Many of these people don’t like their job, got married not for the right person, don’t even like their big new house (5 bedrooms for 2 people…common…this is too much), don’t enjoy their vacation anymore because they forgot how to have fun in their life. That happens because of one big mistake people usually make in the very beginning of their personal and professional life (I believe that the professional unhappiness can screw up your personal life big time. The other way around exists too, but not very often).

These people didn’t spend enough time to find out what they really want to do with their lives. How often can you hear people saying that they don’t like their job, but it pays the bills. This is so sad. Why do you go to work and spend 8 hours of your life doing something you don’t like. Why? Why did you do that to yourself. And in the moments when you feel upset you tend to blame the system, the president, the neighbor, the aliens, anybody else but not yourself. What can you do if you are one of these unhappy people:

1. Stop! It is not too late to stop. You don’t want to look back when you are 65-70 years old and say to yourself, “what if”, do you? It is not too late to stop. Do it now!

2. Ask yourself the question: what do you really want to do in order to make yourself, your family, and friends happy. Make up your mind on time and try to find out what do you really like and enjoy doing. Don’t wait too much until you get stuck forever. The time is the most precious thing in the world. Don’t waste it, use it.

3. Open your eyes and look around yourself. Life is beautiful, but you are the only person on Earth that can make it beautiful for you and your family.

3 EASY STEPS TO STAY FOCUSED

1. If you feel lack of motivation don’t look around for a remedy. Reading motivational blogs and hacks will not help you much. It will confuse you even more. Also, reading motivational and GTD blogs is a tremendous waste of time, helping some smart on-line gurus to make money selling dreams.

Find your own way to stay focused. The only cure so far is to keep working on your project until one day you overcome the apathy and boredom.

2. Limit the use of Internet for any other purposes different than your current goal. Set up a time of the day for checking your e-mails and social networks.

3. Work on your project thoroughly. At the end of the day you have to have the feeling of satisfaction.

Think positive and imagine yourself in a better position after you are done with your goal. That will give you additional freshness and motivation.

THREE SIMPLE THINGS TO DO EVERYDAY THAT CAN BOOST YOUR MOOD AND SELF-ESTEEM

1. Talk to at least one person you don’t know.

2. Smile to 5 people you don’t know.

3. Talk to somebody who is higher in the work hierarchy and you were avoiding to talk before.

If you use that simples 3 steps you will probably see that the law of attraction works.

NOT TO DO LIST? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

Everybody knows how to make a TO-DO list. It is also easy to follow. It works for me, but I realized that I need a small addition to that list, a second list named NOT TO-DO.

I noticed that I have more problems with my NOT TO-DO list. But what is NOT TO-DO list? In that list I put everything I don’t need to do for the day, but I usually do and waste time, like browsing for hours, checking and editing my other blog, my e-mails, my facebook, and so forth. Few tips how to make and follow your NOT TO-DO list.

1. Make your TO-DO list first and estimate how many hours it is going to take.

2. Make your NOT TO-DO list and keep it on a piece of paper in front of you or on your desktop. Anytime when you feel tempted to do something from the NOT TO-DO list look at it. Read it once, twice, as many times as you want, than read again your TO-DO list and focus on your work.

3. Set up a time of the day when you can use the NOT-DO list. It must be after you finish your TO-DO list. I know, sometimes it is so difficult. For example, you just post a new article on your blog and you are so curious how many people read it and commented it, or you just uploaded new pictures on Facebook and you wanna see who of your friends saw it and make some funny comments. No, no, no… it doesn’t work this way. Take it easy dude! Your blog, e-mails, facebook, groups, communities, forums, etc., they all will be still there. Finish your most important job first and than enjoy the rest of your free time. Period.

DON’T WORRY! IT’S POINTLESS.

1. Stop worrying NOW. Worrying about your next projects, tasks, and everyday problems doesn’t help to deal with them. It only decreases your productivity.

2. Understand the main concept. Life is dynamic. Everyday is different and brings some nice surprises (less often) and some difficult moments (way more often). You gotta know that already! Stop complaining. Learn how to deal with the situations that make you feel anxious.

3. Keep in mind that even if you find a solution to all the problems you have today, there will be some more tomorrow. Don’t get frustrated. Problems are part of normal life. Try to solve them in an organized and well planned fashion.

What is the point of worrying today if there will be so many other things to worry about tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and every other day after. Do your best today and don’t worry about tomorrow. When tomorrow comes do again your best and don’t think about the day after. By doing that, you will always have a day full with joy and happiness, and you will be able to finish all your tasks on time.

HOW TO MAKE BAD/TOXIC PEOPLE FEEL UNSECURE

Anytime when somebody says bad words to you, use these simple steps:

1. Get close to him/her, closer than normal conversation. Look in the eyes. Stay calm. Don’t say anything. Go away. If that fails, continue with step 2.

2. Question this person. Why? Why did you say that? What do you mean by that? Do you feel better saying that to me? Keep questioning until he/she is totally confused. Don’t let them speak. Don’t give them chance to take over. Keep on asking questions. Who do you think you are (this is a little bit rude, but it depends on the situation, it might be acceptable too)? I don’t let anybody talk to me like that. If that fails continue with step 3.

3. Refer the matter to a higher authority. Don’t loose your confidence and the calm tone of speaking. Don’t raise your voice. Just say: OK, I did the right thing following the protocol and talking to you first. It seems like it doesn’t work and I have to proceed and refer the case to a higher authority. Goodbye!

Tip: It’s better if you talk only two of you. If there are other people around, they can interrupt the conversation. Be very quick. Don’t let the other person to pull him/herself together. Don’t forget that at the end the only thing that matters is you, your family and your close friends (I don’t have friends yet). So, who cares for that toxic person. Don’t let the bad words hurt you. Don’t take it personally. Let it go and keep doing your best this day.